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| bored. did this in mspaint. the colors!!!
click to view full-size
i think it should be noted that i'm a lefty. i can't even draw a circle with my right hand. yet i did this with my right-hand (with a mouse of course). bedazzling!
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| it is hallow's eve, so it doesnt surprise me that the demons like to come out on this night to play mess with me. it is like the gateway to hell is inside my brain and there is a surge of demons trying to break through. it is far too much for me to try to keep them at bay , i'm too weak against so many. they knit and pick at my brain, eating and consuming every piece of me. they destroy all the walls that i've built to keep them out. they get to my core, my heart where it is heavily fortified, hitting me where it hurts. tonight, they feast on my very soul, twisting and turning me into a whole different person. a person now under their control, believing every little lie they tell me. i'm too exhausted to fight this battle. just be gone.
tonight, they caught me in my moment of weakness. always striking me when i'm down and when i least expect it. well, i vow to myself to never let that happen again. let me gather my strength. let me scrape the rust off my sword. come morning dawn, every one of you bastards will taste my fury, none will be spared. the damage will be catastrophic and it will surely take some time for me to rebuild stronger, better defenses. i will revive my heart. i will take my soul back. i will be stronger than ever. bring it on. | | |
| - it's like my heart has a brain of its own
- it's like my brain has a brain of its own (uhh what)
- my insecurites could eat me alive
- my depression gets the best of me
- i feel so damn unexpressed these days
- i feel like such a failure because of this because this is how i connect with people
- i always think about you
- sleep is my only escape from my thoughts
- no matter how much i sleep i always wake up at the same place, same time, still me
- deep down i feel like this will never ever in a million years work out in my favor (does it ever) yet i cant help but
feel the same way i do about you
- i feel so stupid (x 1,000,000)
+ i'm funny and random
+ i'm a really good friend
+ i'll be there for you whenever you need me
+ i am fun to be around when i'm able to express myself, be myself
+ i can go from serious-business mode to silly-willy mode on a whim
+ i dont believe in taking anything seriously especially life
+ you'd never know it if i was depressed or troubled
+ i have a hard time sharing my feelings
negatives far outweigh the positives... but i'm working on it. i'm working on focusing on the positives and i didnt really try but i'm sure i could come up with more +'s. i'll add more to that list and pretty soon they'll outweigh the negatives.
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A place to spend my quiet nights, time to unwind
So much pressure in this life of mine, I cry at times
I once contemplated suicide, and woulda tried
But when I held that 9, all I could see was my momma's eyes
No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble
Not knowin it's hard to carry on when no one loves you
Picture me inside the misery of poverty
No man alive has ever witnessed struggles I survived
Prayin hard for better days, promise to hold on
-TUPAC_Thug Mansion
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| "I'm not an angry person, just very disappointed, and contemptuous of my fellow humans' choices. I'm contemptuous of the mass. One on one with people, I have great compassion. When I see individuals, i see their individual beauty."
-George Carlin
These words rang so true in my ears. I like to see individuals for who they are, not what or whom they are associated with. There is nothing more beautiful then talking to a perfect stranger. The person gets to know you on their own terms, with no preconceptions. You don't know if they are catholic, mormon, a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer and you may not even care. Personally, i don't want to know if you're any of those things. I want to know how you think, what gives you pleasure in life, what kind of food do you like, whether or not you sing in your car or shower, things that make you an individual. I don't want to lose "you" in your religion or occupation. You don't deserve to fall victim to my misconceptions or stereotypes. Indeed, you may say those things are "you" and to an extent you are right, but just like language, some things are lost in translation. I read and form opinions about your religion or political group or occupation everyday, but the beauty of "you" is that it's an open slate.
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